Finding My Inner "Frugal", or The Best Christmas Present Ever

Today's the day I will go and purchase a small gift for my husband, Bill, for Christmas. For the past few years, we really haven't exchanged gifts and instead have chosen to support organizations that feed the hungry, and take care of those less fortunate. Still, it's fun to find some funny or needed item(s) to give him. I am not going to tell you here what I am going to get on the slight chance he may read this blog today.

There is one gift that Bill would really, really appreciate getting from me. That gift would be for me to find my inner"frugal". And then, to practice it all year long. You know, "the gift that keeps on giving". It's at the very least, something to think about.

As is the case with many married couples, one person is very frugal, er, stingy with money and the other doesn't see a purchase he or she doesn't like! This difference in spending habits can wreck a perfectly good relationship if the couple does not address and discuss this early on. We may be one of the worst couples when it comes to having a good understanding of our comfort levels in regards to our spending habits. We disagree in the origins of our beliefs, in the reasons we are who we are and the justifications of our spending actions. (Thank goodness the sex is soooo good, or we would probably be history!)

Now, do not be too worried, we are actually more similar than he would like you to believe. For starters, we both believe we should stay within our means and we hold no credit card debt, ever. We also both believe that he need to spend a certain amount on charities, church and other needy causes. From there, it goes downhill............

Bill is easier to explain. He has always worked hard his entire life. He put himself through college, bought his own cars, helped out financially to many of his family members and so he is our frugal side for the relationship (surprise). He believes that very little should be spent on clothes, lavish trips, household items such as furniture and appliances, etc. His one area that he has been corrupted, er, changed, is in the level of vacation needs. He does enjoy the nicer places with comfy beds and ocean views. He believes that saving 10-15% for retirement is simply not enough. And, his retirement plan shows us dying when we are 100!

I am the more complicated (okay, difficult) member of this relationship. I love to shop (well, not the actual act of shopping, but collecting wonderful items). I love giving clothes and items for the children. Dressing Laura is like having a life-sized doll around the house. I got the biggest kick out of buying and decorating Andy's first tiny apartment with his girlfriend, Kim. Jonathan had one of the nicest decorated rooms in his whole fraternity house. I always was given many items from my parents and it just feels right to do the same for my kids, when we can afford it.

I also love wonderfully-made clothes and SHOES. Going to Nordstroms', Saks' or Neiman Marcus' shoe department at the beginning of the season is almost orgasmic for me. I appreciate antiques and love buying art as well. I once spent $1000 on delicate trim for our bedroom curtains! Now, that was crazy, even for me. But you should see it...delicious.

Finally, I want to help all businesses when I walk in to their shop or talk to them about their business. Never take me to an auction for a good cause and give me liquor, it's not pretty. It makes me feel good to help others. In my retirement plan, I would want to say that I'll be around until I'm 80 years old, too.

Couples like us have a regular tug and pull affair and each person tries to bend the other's ear with the slight chance they may change. This works best when both couples can be open and respectful of the other's side of the argument. Mostly, we make each other feel bad which is not very nice at all.

Now, this year has been difficult on the old pocketbook, so it's the perfect year to lean more towards Bill's philosophy on life and spending. I have already cut out a lot of frivolous spending for myself, but I can do more.
Bill deserves a little less stress in his life this year, so it's time to bite the frugal bullet. Time to pull in the reigns. Time to buckle down. (Sounds almost dangerous, doesn't it?).

If it's okay by you, I may use this page to vent a little, cry a little and complain a little. Maybe in time, I can change, for the better (or worse?). That's what I repeated in our wedding vows, didn't I?

Wish me luck...

Make a Drink for Me

December 11, 2008



aloha friday • holidays



Welcome to this week’s edition of Aloha Friday.
In Hawaii, Aloha Friday is the day that we take it easy and look forward to the weekend. So a fun blog, Jiggety Jigg and her An Island Life blog has suggested that on Fridays we take it easy on posting. I got the message late and this is my third post today, so I'll start next week. I am suppose to ask you to answer a simple question. Nothing that requires a lengthy response.

If you’d like to participate, just post your own question on your blog and leave your link below. Don’t forget to visit the other participants! It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends!

Today’s question I have for you:
You have a blender and ice and a group of friends coming over. What are you going to make for them?

1. Lisa C.2. Sues2u23. Tamy~3 Sides of Crazy:)4. Amy @ Thoughts from the Mrs.5. Autumn @ My MoonBean6. Mom of 27. Jen ~ A Little Bit About Me8. Julie From Inmates9. Janet from Grammy Janet's Place10. Perspective11. Cathi12. Deb - Mom of 3 Girls13. blueviolet@ A Nut in a Nutshell14. Meredith15. Jenni Jiggety16. Chocolate Fingerprints17. Nina18. Proud Mommy
19. Jennifer20. amy-happy momma21. Dee@Two Of A Kind, Working On A Full House22. Chrissy Mac CEO23. TheAngelForever 24. Daily Mish Mash25. Jennifer: Wilson-six26. Jen @ mommablogsalot27. Kari @ Alas3Lads28. Jen @ What's Shakin'?29. Abby 30. Just Jenn31. Colleen32. Jennie Lee33. A Maui Blog34. Charlotte (Life's a Charm!)35. sagemom36. Ropa Vieja
37. mamaJoss @ Dribbles & Diapers 38. BlapherMJ39. Pegsy @ Sharing Life With Peggy40. Louise41. Pamela Kramer42. Brandi43. Cammi44. Lori Downs45. diana/sunshine46. kelley47. Toni @ Photo Bug Baby48. Christy49. Aloha Monkey50. Tena @ Crazy Book...51. Beth52. shydub53.You're next!

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Aloha!

Scottsdale Mom Celebrates Empty Nester Month with a New Website

Here's a copy of my press release, hot off the presses!

Scottsdale Mom Celebrates Empty Nester Month with a New Website: "Trackback URL: http://www.prweb.com/pingpr.php/VGhpci1UaGlyLUluc2UtTWFnbi1Mb3ZlLVNpbmctWmVybw=="

Now, I have NO idea how to bookmark this article as it suggests to do at the bottom of the page. Every time I hit StumbleUpon, or DIGG or Del.icious, it asks for my account. Clearly, I am doing something wrong. Will you please help me or go to the article and do it for me?

Thanks y'all.......